2015-2016Sol Kim

Brown University

Class of 2019




Sol Kim’s AAA Essay:


Perpetrator: Sol Kim

Criminal Record: 4-time guilty of ‘Falling Madly and Irrevocably in Love’



Crime: ‘Falling Madly and Irrevocably in Love’

Victim: Computer Science

Location: The Kims’ suburban Cupertino home

Time: June 21st, 2014, 2:45 A.M.

Case Description:

On June 21st, in the wee hours of the night – 2:45 A.M. to be precise – a certain Miss Sol Kim was enthralled with coding her own version of 2048. Acquaintances had alerted the police intermittently for quite a few years to her suspicious activities, including: being sucked into a whirlwind of online computer science courses, absorbing page after page of tutorials, and trading in sleep to make her own web development company, Small Promise smallpromise.com, and occasional gimmicks like one silly smallcompliments.com.

The light in her eyes as she scrolled through the code was a dead giveaway. With such solid proof, police finally had reason to detain her for the crime of ‘Falling Madly and Irrevocably in Love.’

The grueling interrogation of Miss Kim revealed that she committed the crime because “computer science is such an incredible, vivid mix of math, logic, and creativity that writes millions of pages of exciting narratives with 0’s and 1’s.” Increased probing uncovered that she had discovered online heartwarming stories – like separated twins Samantha Futerman and Anais Bordier’s reunion over YouTube – and shocking tragedies – like fourteen-year-old Matthew Homyk’s suicide over Ask.fm. Sadly, the latter seemed to be becoming increasingly prominent. Miss Kim expressed a desire to code a technological solution to the subjective problem of cyberbullying, just as the dating site OkCupid utilizes a computational approach to matchmaking. She had begun to code the beginnings of the program when the police charged into her house.

Pressured further in interrogation, she blurted, “I hope to make the virtual experience positive for everyone. Our progress and survival as a species depends upon leveraging our technological capabilities to enhance rather than diminish the qualities that set us apart: love, empathy, and cooperation. After all, computer science is more than efficient code; it is integrating technology into the moral fabric of our culture. I aspire to be that integration, an important block of code in the blanket program of humanity!” At that point, her passion and fervor became too much, and she was dismissed for the time being.



Crime: ‘Falling Madly and Irrevocably in Love’

Victim: Psychology

Location: Archbishop Mitty, San Jose, CA 95129

Time: November 13th, 2014, 11:15 A.M.

Case Description:

On November 13th, at 11:15 A.M. sharp, Miss Sol Kim was found guilty once more, bringing her total number of strikes to 2. She was caught admiring a preserved brain in AP Psychology at Archbishop Mitty High School. Witnesses report that she caressed the “brain jar” in her hands wonderingly, that strange light creeping into her eyes once more. When asked by her group-mates to put it down so they could start examining structures and labeling them on their papers, Miss Kim was reported to instead remark, “Isn’t it incredible? A person’s whole life – their memories, their emotions, their thoughts – it’s all right here. In my hands.”

Physical evidence of her ‘Falling Madly and Irrevocably in Love’ include one AP Psychology book, covered in highlighting and notes, several documentaries about the science behind emotions in her laptop, and a long Internet history of “human-computer interaction” Google searches.

The interrogation of Miss Kim proved difficult, as she had learned how to thwart polygraphs and criminal investigation tactics in her studies of psychology. Police only discovered that she was “fascinated by psychology because it dictates our lives and explains our human experience!”



Crime: ‘Falling Madly and Irrevocably in Love’

Victim: Higher Education

Location: College Yard, College University

Time: August 20th, 2015, 8:30 A.M.

Case Description:

On August 20th, 2015, 8:30 A.M., Miss Sol Kim was declared once more guilty of ‘Falling Madly and Irrevocably in Love.’ She was found in College Yard, celebrating Freshman Welcome. The light in her eyes was brighter than ever, propelling police to immediately begin interrogation. Unrestrained in her passion, Miss Kim proclaimed that she “loved college because it allowed her to satiate all of her intellectual curiosities! Because she wanted to cure cyberbullying, its incredible computer science resources – like fascinating projects and labs – and its renowned psychology department – in which she could revel in the depths of humanity – was perfect for her.” She further exclaimed that she “loved to be at the heart of innovation, sharing raspberry sorbets with the next great leaders!”

The light in her eyes was blinding – her three passions were now one. Police immediately hauled Miss Kim off to jail. However, she was soon rescued by one wonderful Korean Ancestry Grant, who paid the much-needed bail that allowed her to return to her loves in college.